


set your tasers to tickle

by Dresupi



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Darcy Lewis April Fool’s Crack Challenge, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humor, I hope, Kissing, One Shot, Teasing, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 11:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18314153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: Stephen’s made fun of Darcy’s taser for the last time.Well, probably not the last time. But she made some changes so it’ll be more difficult to make fun of it.





	set your tasers to tickle

**Author's Note:**

> _****_
> 
> _**Darcy Lewis April Fool’s Crack Challenge 2019** _
> 
> _Day 1: Taser Mishaps_

“Dr. Foster?” FRIDAY’s voice was cool and crisp against the relatively warm, numbing silence in the lab. It brought Darcy out of the Spotify and daydream cycle she’d been gently rolling through.

“Hmm?” Jane asked, not fully paying attention.

“Dr. Foster?” The A.I’s voice was more insistent this time.

“What?” This time, the astrophysicist was less absent, but still not fully there.

“ _ Dr. Foster _ ?”

“Geez, what,  _ what _ ?” Darcy asked.  “Why are you doing that? I know your intelligence is artificial, but you should totally just ask for me.”

“Mr. Stark wanted to remind the two of you that the scheduled group dinner starts in ten minutes, Ms. Lewis, but you told me that if I ever interrupted you when you were staring unblinkingly at your computer screen again, you’d have me rewired. While I know this isn’t possible, I thought it best to adhere to your rules. If for nothing other than positive future interactions between the two of us.”

_ That’s right. It’s Wednesday. Wednesday nights were group dinner nights. _ “Oh right. The dinner. And thank you, FRIDAY, you’re officially on my good list.”

“I’m thrilled, Ms. Lewis. Do you have any other queries at this time?”

“Who all are attending? Stevie and Wanda?”

“Captain Rogers and Ms. Maximoff are indeed in attendance. As is Colonel Rhodes, as is Mr. Wilson. Dr. Stephen Strange is also in attendance.  And you and Dr. Foster, if you disengage from your computers and start walking in the direction of the dining hall in no less than ten minutes. Dr. Banner has recused himself to his private quarters, so he will regretfully not be joining you this evening..”

Darcy grimaced. “Strange is gonna be there?”

“Indeed. His invitation was accepted belatedly, but he is already in the dining hall as we speak.”

“Did you hear that, Janey?” Darcy extended her leg and pushed on Jane’s chair, jarring her from her thoughts. Not an easy thing to do, but Darcy knew all her boss’s buttons and cheat codes after almost ten years.

“Hear what?”

“Dr. Strangelove is coming to dinner tonight.”

Jane wrinkled her nose and reached over to save her work. “Oh, I’m sorry Darce. I know how much you don’t like him.”

“And neither do  _ you _ ! You don’t like him either. Because he’s my wildcard, Jane. You have to hate him because I do. No questions asked. We each get one, and I totally hate that one dude who came in here.”

Jane began the process of shutting down her computers. “First of all, I feel like that shouldn’t count as my wildcard because Reed Richards is a dick and everyone knows it. And secondly, I do; I hate Stephen Strange blindly. Only because I love you, Darce.  But…”

“No buts. We have to be mean girls tonight, Janey.”

“I don’t think he’s all that bad.”

“That’s because in regards to you, he’s some kind of magical-science man whose brain you’d like to pick, and he’s actually of a mental acuity that can keep up with your science babbles.  But Bruce is all of those things too, and he’s not a jerk to me, so…”

“I don’t think Stephen’s being a jerk, Darce. I think he’s teasing you because he likes the reaction he gets from you.  If you didn’t get so angry, I bet he’d leave you alone. Not that any of this is your fault, but… you see what I’m saying?”

“Look. I am  _ thirty _ years old.”

“You’re thirty-two…” Jane muttered under her breath.

“I am THIRTY for the third year running, and I’m doing just fine with it, thank you…” Darcy replied in a scandalized tone.  “And regardless. I’m too old to have my pigtails yanked on the playground. If he enjoys my company, I require a more…  _ finessed _ approach.”

“Darcy. He could magic a bunch of lab equipment to float in the air, spelling out your initials and his in a heart and you still wouldn’t get it through your thick skull that he liked you.”

“That  _ may _ be true, but I certainly cannot gauge someone’s like or dislike of me if he flat out refuses common decency.”

“He teases you. He’s not being uncommonly indecent.”

“He likes seeing me squirm,” Darcy countered.

“And that’s not a good trait in someone you’re boning?” Jane retorted, eyebrows raised.

Darcy’s mouth fell open and she made several undignified noises. If she had to call them anything, she’d call them squawks.  “I… I… I…  _ never _ said anything about boning him!”

“That’s the underlying current here, isn’t it?” Jane asked. “You say you hate him. But there’s a thin line between disdain and--”

“Do  _ not _ for the love of all that is Thor-ly, say ‘love’.”

“Attraction,” Jane finished. “If you were indifferent to him, you wouldn’t care how he treated you. Look at Bruce. He has his bad days and grumbles at you and you don’t bat an eye. Stephen Strange uses a tone that’s borderline snarky and you throw yourself dramatically off the deep end.”

“No. I. Don’t.”

Jane pursed her lips but didn’t reply any further, which was fine. Because Darcy totally won that argument, okay? “So, are you ready for dinner and hating Stephen? Because I’m ready.”

Darcy sniffed and nodded. “Might as well get this over with.”

“What are we eating, anyway? Last week’s options were pretty good…”

“I think Tony’s doing takeout for everything…” Darcy said trailing off. “We could literally ask FRIDAY.”

“Tonight’s menu consists of twelve different gourmet soups,” the A.I cheerfully provided.

Darcy made a face. “One of those better be cheese based or I’m skipping out…”

“Me too,” Jane muttered.

 

* * *

 

The dinner itself was amazing. Surprisingly.  Or not surprisingly, since Tony usually hired chefs that made amazing food and Darcy wasn’t sure why she ever questioned things anymore.

There were three cheese-based soups, so she and Jane had plenty to choose from.

The wine was nothing to sneeze at either.

It was too bad that Darcy couldn’t really enjoy either because Stephen Strange was such a mind-numbingly terrible human and his very existence put a bad taste in her mouth.

A bad taste that even a bowl of creamy asparagus parmesan soup couldn’t take away.

“So how’s scientist-wrangling, Darcy?” His Terrible-ness asked, only about five minutes into the meal.

_ Seriously dude, let me live? _

She took a long sip from her wine glass, realizing that any hope of his surviving the dinner was going to rest on how quickly it got refilled. “Good. Thanks.” Just like Jane had advised. Short. Semisweet. Didn’t expose any emotion whatsoever, Darcy was golden-- “How’s being an emotionally constipated magical prick with too many layers and a personality that idles on  _ extra _ ?” she added at the end. 

_ Gods-dammit, Darcy. _

Stephen burst into laughter.  _ Pretentious _ laughter. “I was just trying to make conversation,” he said.

“No, you weren’t. If you were making conversation, you wouldn’t have picked on one of the things you  _ know _ bothers me.”

He peered over at her. “How would I know that bothers you?”

“Because, Genius. You’ve brought it up before. And you know damn well that’s not all I do, but you oversimplify things to get a rise out of me. Next, you’ll be making fun of my taser, even though I could level your ass with it.”

“Hey, hey…” Tony interjected.  “Keep the foreplay out of dining room, okay?”

Darcy rolled her eyes and snatched her glass, physically turning herself so Stephen was out of her line of vision.

“You’ve never done it before, why start now?” Stephen muttered under his breath. Just loud enough for everyone to hear.

“That taser’s gotten her out of some binds before,” Steve interrupted. “She’d be dead by now with all the intelligence she’s carrying if it wasn’t for that thing.”

Wanda agreed. “No one ever expects it.”

“And she tased Thor!” Jane added. 

Darcy felt her heart physically warm. Her friends were awesome, okay?

“Yes, I did,” Darcy said, effectively ending the convo once and for all.

Or it would have.

If she didn’t get her feelings hurt a little.

* * *

 

 

Okay, so she got her feelings hurt a lot.

And when Darcy got her feelings hurt, she usually cleaned something. But her apartment and workstation were all as tidy as they could be and Jane had murder eyes for anyone who so much as deigned to ogle the mess in her area, so Darcy was left with but one option.

Tinkering with her taser.

Probably not the best of plans, considering her lack of engineering expertise. But she’d hooked up her Roku, and she was the only one who could fix the wifi in the lab, so those skills had to account for something.

After approximately three shocks to various fingers, it was obvious that while those skills were nothing to sniff at, they  _ didn’t _ transfer to taser tampering.

Which was how she found herself hanging out at Tony’s station and casually nudging the weapon towards him.

“Fine,” he said finally, scooping it up. “What do you want me to do?”

“Add more settings,” Darcy said quickly.

“What settings?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just. More.”

“You got it, short stack.”

 

* * *

 

When her beloved taser was returned to her, it looked largely the same. Except for a dial on the side that she could spin to change settings.

There were the ominous 1, 2, and 3 settings. In addition to those, there were some others that grabbed her attention a little more.

“Double Rainbow” seemed to do just that, shooting two identical rainbow beams out the end that carried no voltage that she could discern. Probably why the setting was printed in blue font, whereas the 1, the 2, and the 3 were in red.

There was also a ‘Pinkie Pie’ setting in blue, as well as something Tony called “Sonic Screwdriver, which she found out was actually a type of a lock-picking setting.  She just had to stick the diodes on any lock and she could blast a door open. Nifty. Both were blue, so she assumed neither would hurt an actual person.

Last on the dial, though. Was something called ‘Tickle’. The font was purple. And it looked hella interesting.

“‘Tickle’?” Darcy asked.

Tony nodded. “Yeah, that one’s a hybrid. Won’t hurt the target. But it’ll make ‘em giggle a little.”  He shrugged. “I wanted something in the middle. Before, that thing either maimed or sparkled. Now, it also tickles. You’re welcome.”

Darcy took her new weapon and grinned. “Thanks!”

* * *

 

 

She would swear up, down, and under oath that it was an accident.

She was practicing on one of the dummies Bruce and Tony hadn’t blown up yet. She’d tried out each of the red settings, finding the 3 was likely for Bruce’s Other Guy, if he ever Hulked out in the lab and was unwilling to listen to reason. Settings 2 and 1 were pretty much the factory settings.

She tried out Pinkie Pie and Double Rainbow, happy with the results. The first one emitting showers of purple and pink sparkles in the shape of a unicorn. The latter, doing its double rainbow-thing. 

Unfortunately, she couldn’t even shoot the ‘Sonic Screwdriver’ at something that wasn’t a lock, so she’d have to talk to Tony about how to test that one out. 

It left one final setting to try out.

And she wasn’t sure what it would do to the dummy, but she wanted to give it a shot. Pun intended.

She set it firmly on ‘Tickle’ and rounded on her target, shooting the diodes out and giving a yelp of surprise when they implanted firmly on Stephen Strange’s shirt.

He glanced down at them for a long moment before his shoulders started shaking.

Let it be known to the world and everyone in it that Stephen Strange had the dorkiest laugh in the entire universe.  Somewhere between a cackle and a goose honk.

Darcy released the trigger, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Oh my Thor, I’m sorry…”

“You’re shooting me now?” he gestured to the diodes. “And correct me if I’m wrong, but if this thing took down Thor, I must be even mightier than the Asgardian.” He puffed his chest proudly.

Darcy audibly groaned and pulled the trigger again, resulting in Stephen laughing both uncontrollably  _ and _ loudly.

She smirked. “It’s the tickle setting. Tony’s been working on it. I also have a setting that can take down the Hulk, care to try that one?” She mimed reaching for the dial and Stephen’s hands came out as he jolted forward.

“No, don’t. Don’t. I give.”

“Relax. I wasn’t going to shoot you with that one.”

He smirked. “I know that. But I still give.”

“You… give?”

“Yes. I give. Uncle. Whatever I need to say. Just please don’t tickle me again.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like my laugh,” he readily admitted.

She smirked and held her finger over the trigger again. “There’s something else I’d like you to say… five seconds to guess…”

For the record, she was hoping for an apology.

“Dinner?” Stephen asked, hands still extended.

“What?” Darcy frowned. “Dinner?”

“Dinner? Just you and me. No one else. I don’t feel like we ever get a chance to talk when everyone’s here.”

Her stomach flip-flopped and she let the taser come down to her side. She walked over to him, yanking the diodes from his shirt and wound them back up. “You can go.”

“Wait…” He practically stumbled forward. “That’s why I’m here. To ask you to dinner.”

“Pull the other one, Magic Man.”

“No, I mean it.  And I take it from your utter lack of a reaction that this is a complete surprise to you?”

“Not  _ completely _ . Just  _ utterly _ the last thing in the entire world I expected to hear from you. I would have settled for an apology, just so you know. I’m not into torturing a dude for a date.”

“An apology for  _ what _ ?”

“For our entire acquaintanceship,” she countered. “You’re rude and mean and you make fun of me, and you are so good at picking out every little thing that I’m sensitive about…” Darcy shook her head. “So hate to break it to ya, but I’m gonna need a rain check on the date.”

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “I’m sorry for hurting your… pride? Your feelings? I can’t tell by your tone which it was, but I am infinitely sorry.”

She shrugged. “You had to do something, right? I was kind of equally horrible to you.”

“I didn’t mind,” Stephen replied. “I enjoy a good verbal spar from time to time.” He took a step closer. “You said you’d need a rain check for the date?”

“Did I? I thought I refused you outright and bade you to never darken my doorway again…” she teased.

He shook his head, and she shifted her weight expectantly. “How long’s the rain check good for?” He asked, freezing in place.

She shrugged. “No expiration, I guess.”

“That’s… that’s good to hear. So you wouldn’t be opposed?”

“I know,” she said, laughing a little. “Color me surprised.”

He took another step closer. “I really am sorry. I thought we were engaging in verbal combat, but with a slightly flirtatious flair.”

“I don’t flirt with the guys who pull my hair to show they like me,” she replied.

He smiled a little. Crookedly, and in a way that made her want to blush and look away.

“You weren’t  _ not _ flirting,” he countered.

“No. But I wasn’t flirting either. You’d know if I was.”

“What does that look like? For those of us who are helplessly dense in this subject?”

She rolled her eyes. “You, Stephen. Are hopelessly dense about a lot of things. But not about this. If I like you. I’ll tell you.”

“ _ Do _ you like me?”

“You’re growing on me,” she replied, smiling a little as he moved closer still. She wasn’t moving closer, but she wasn’t moving away either. He could come all the way across the floor if he was serious.

“Like a skin tag?”

She smirked. “No, Genius.”

He chuckled, closing the gap between them and standing so close that she could smell his aftershave. “See, I’m really bad at this.”

She reached up to grab at what passed for lapels on that ridiculous ensemble he was wearing. She tugged him forward and turned at the last second, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “You really aren’t.  Call me later about the date, okay?”

She took a step back and took her taser with her.

“How late is later? Can I call you in five minutes?”

“Use your best judgment!” she called, retreating to her area of the lab with a smug smile on her face. She slid into her chair with a tiny bounce.

“Seemed pretty ‘finessed’ if you ask me,” Jane said, keeping her voice low as she clicked around on her computer.

“Shut it, Foster.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy April 1st! <3 <3 <3
> 
> Leave me some sugar if you liked it! I'll see you guys tomorrow for Day 2!


End file.
